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Lisa always dreamed of getting married and being a mom. When she was in her thirties, she purchased a couple of gorgeous Christmas stockings in a local shop, hoping that someday she would hang them on her fireplace mantle for her children.
The stockings got buried in a box until she found them almost twenty years later.
By then, Lisa was fifty and still single.
However, she had just received the news that the baby girl she was trying to adopt from Haiti would be with her by Christmas.
Lisa dug out those stockings and immediately had them embroidered; one with “Mama” and the other with “Missy.” She then proceeded to decorate the whole house for Christmas.
It didn’t matter that it was August…
Missy was coming home, and Lisa would finally be a mama!
Christmas had come early this year…
Sadly, Lisa’s extended Christmas season only lasted until October of that year. It was in October that Lisa received a phone call informing her that she would likely never get to bring Missy home.
That devastating news delivered a sucker punch to her gut that sent Lisa reeling.
She staggered over to her mantle and immediately took those stockings down. She then proceeded to pack away every Christmas decoration and light in her house and shoved them all under the stairs.
“I will never celebrate Christmas again,” she thought.
How could she?
Her heart was broken into a thousand pieces, causing every bit of hope to drain out of her body.
Her hope of becoming a mom was lost.
So I say, “My strength has perished,
And so has my hope from the Lord.”
(Lam 3:18)
The Pain of Hope
Have you ever had the hope knocked out of you?
I sure have, and I know I’m not alone.
All of us know someone who is struggling to hold onto the hope that their situation will change—whether it’s a failed relationship, financial struggles, addiction, or health challenges.
For some people, hope feels too dangerous to contemplate. They would rather accept the worst-case scenario than deal with the crushing disappointment of losing hope.
I understand that perspective.
Sometimes, trying to hold onto hope can be like clinging to a bucking bronco at the rodeo…
In spite of your best efforts, you just might get flung on your a$$.
And that’s when hope hurts.
Since we have officially entered the season of Advent—the season of hope—I thought this might be a good time to address the elephant in the room: What do we do when hope seems far away, even lost? After all, the arrival of Advent doesn’t mean we have this hope thing nailed down.
Most of us have (ahem)…questions.
What is Advent
For anyone unsure of the significance of Advent, it is a four-week season of preparing to celebrate the arrival of Jesus on Earth (aka, Christmas). It is considered a season of hope because of what Jesus came to do: restore humanity’s relationship with God and establish God’s Kingdom here on earth.
For the people of Israel, Jesus’ birth was a big deal…(Well, it was for the people who accepted that Jesus was the long-awaited savior.)
You see, up until the time of Jesus’ birth, the Israelites had been desperately waiting for a king—a military leader—who would save them from their enemies once and for all.
Although Jesus wasn’t who they hoped for—a military/political leader who would deliver them from their enemies—he was exactly what they needed: Someone who would free them from the bondage of sin and death.
That’s where hope comes in: Before Jesus, there was no hope of being free from those things.
And now, because of Jesus, we all have hope that the brokenness of our lives can be redeemed and restored.
And that is a big deal.
Yeah, but…
Perhaps you’re thinking, “I get all that, but I’m still ____(sick, addicted, broke, estranged from loved ones, failing at life…you name it). If Jesus came to heal and bring freedom, why am I stuck?
I’m losing hope that anything will ever change.
Yes. I get that.
I even feel that.
I am navigating a few situations in my life where I’m clinging to the bucking bull of hope, desperate for something to change.
And yes, I’ve been flung off the bull…too many times to count.
I’m guessing you have, too.
That is why Advent is a season for us—for those who refuse to give up believing that something greater is to come.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, pastor and author, put it this way:
The celebration of Advent is only possible to those who are troubled in soul, who know themselves to be poor and imperfect, and who look forward to something greater to come.
Jesus opened the door to a perspective that life could be different.
- He took on our sin, so we no longer need to live in condemnation and shame.
- He released God’s Kingdom wherever he went: healing the sick, casting out demons, and opening blind eyes. Therefore, we, too, can expect healing.
- He sent His Holy Spirit so we, too, can operate in God’s wisdom and power.
- He promised that someday He would come back again to fully defeat God’s enemies (Rev 19:20) and reunite heaven and earth once and for all. At that time, “The Lord will be king over the whole earth” (Zech 14:9). In other words, we can expect that life will get even better.
Knowing that Jesus has already come and done transformative work on behalf of humanity is truly great news. This means we can and should stand in great hope and expectation that our situations can change.
And yet, we know that life doesn’t always work out as we want…
So, what’s the deal with that?
Here’s the bottom line.
While it’s true that Jesus came and ushered in God’s Kingdom of breakthrough and blessing, until He returns again, we live in the “in-between times”, the time of “now and not yet.” Professor David Briones of Westminster Theological Seminary puts it this way:
Christians live in a great theological tension: we already possess every spiritual blessing in Christ, but we do not yet experience the fullness of these blessings. In one sense, we are already adopted, redeemed, sanctified, and saved; in another, these experiences are not yet fully ours. Underneath this theological and practical tension are the two comings of Christ. He inaugurated the last days; in his second coming, he will complete them. In the meantime, we live for now in “the overlap of the ages.”
So that means we can stand in the hope that our lives can look different now, but until Jesus returns, it is not complete. This is why we still get flung off the bucking bull and experience pain and disappointment.
That sucks. I get it.
Yet, let’s remember that the story doesn’t end here. Just like the Israelites who looked forward to Jesus’ arrival for the first time, we can hope that when He comes again, everything will be made right in the world.
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying:
“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man,
and He will dwell with them.
They will be His people,
and God Himself will be with them as their God.
‘He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,
and there will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain,
for the former things have passed away.”
And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.” And He told me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give freely from the spring of the water of life. The one who overcomes will inherit all things, and I will be his God, and he will be My son.” (Rev 21:1-7)
What to do in the meantime…
Let’s go back to Lisa for a moment.
She discovered in the pain of disappointment that God never stopped working—even when she couldn’t see it. Lisa was able to pick up Missy from Haiti and hang those Christmas stockings the following year. Lisa learned a precious lesson about what it means to stand in hope even when things didn’t turn out as she planned.
Like Lisa, you may have experienced plenty of times when there seems to be no happy ending— when you have been flung off the bucking bull of hope once again. Yet you can trust that one day, everything will be made whole and new.
Here are some practices that can help you cultivate hope even when it seems far away:
- Make a list of God’s promises in scripture and review them frequently. Some followers of Jesus live without hope because they have forgotten the benefits of being a son or daughter of God.
- Remind yourself (and God) of His promises by stating them out loud, over and over again.
- Ask for what you need. “You do not have because you do not ask God.” (James 4:2)
- Be honest with God. We don’t have to pretend we have hope when we don’t. We can and should be honest with our emotions. Biblical precedent lets us know that it’s okay to fuss at God.
- Ask for others to stand in hope for you when you have been flung off the bull one time too many.
- Listen to songs of hope. In this season, I love “O Come O Come Emmanuel.”
O come, O Bright and Morning Star,
and bring us comfort from afar!
Dispel the shadows of the night
and turn our darkness into light. - Read stories of hope. Here are a few to get you started. These are hope-filled stories from the Bible.
In Closing
If you are in a season that feels without hope, I see you. When you are in pain, it is really hard to stay hopeful. (Remember Lisa?)
I encourage you to identify and acknowledge your pain, fear, anger, and loneliness in this season. Many followers of Jesus think it’s wrong to admit to feeling hopeless, but that is a lie. What is wrong is to agree with your hopelessness and set up camp there.
Remember, although your feelings are real, they are not necessarily true.
God wants us to come to Him authentically and honestly about our pain and brokenness. The very act of doing that is a sign of hope! You are turning to the one Person who truly knows you and can do something about your pain.
Let’s sing together…”O Come O Come Emmanuel…”